Hiking The Mostly Dried Out Tandy Hills Today With Betty Jo Bouvier While Crossing Washed Out Bridges

It's been awhile since I talked to Betty Jo Bouvier. I can't remember the last time she went hiking with me in a natural area. Likely somewhere in the North Cascades.

I called Betty Jo on my way to the Tandy Hills Natural Sanatorium Area, hoping Betty Jo might help restore my sanity, in case the Sanatorium Area failed me in that regard.

Betty Jo and I talked about all sorts of things, including the idea of going to Hawaii to see Honey Lulu, but never once discussed the weather, which, incidentally, here in my zone of Texas, is back being in the 70s. So, my windows are open.

When I got off the phone with Betty Jo I began my descent down Mount Tandy. When I got to the Tandy Highway I was not too shocked to see that the first temporary bridge across Sewer Spill Creek had washed away.

The Fort Worth water guys had not bothered to put a culvert pipe under their Sewer Spill Creek bridge.

However, the FW water guys did put a culvert pipe under the bridge they built over the creek that crosses Tandy Highway, further south, that is more prone to having water run through it.

But, the pipe is about 10 inches in diameter. It did not take a hydraulic engineer to know that that little pipe was worthless the first time it got hit with a lot of rain. That deluge occurred on Monday, washing out both temporary bridges and moving the culvert pipe of the bridge that had culvert pipe, about 10 feet downstream.

Are the FW water guys finished with their repair project? Or are more scarce city funds going to be used to once more construct these high tech bridges?

I think I will go swimming again and worry about washed out bridges while I work on my suntan.

Hot Tandy Hills Hiking In Fort Worth With My Mom & Dad Gone Missing In Arizona

I remembered my camera today when I went hiking on the Tandy Hills. My co-hiker also remembered her camera, hence the picture of me hiking.

You can sort of tell from the picture that it is a warm day on the hills.

I think with all the hill hiking I do and all the swimming I do that I am eventually going to get myself in good shape and eventually lose all my unsightly weight gain.

I think I may go for an afternoon swim. It is 80 something out there right now, with a clear blue sky, which should make for some good sun lounging.

I called my mom and dad on Wednesday when I got gas in Hurst. My one longtime reader may remember I call my mom and dad whenever I get gas. They were not home when I called. Usually my mom then calls me back later in the day.

I'd forgotten about the Wednesday gas call when I got gas again today and called my mom and dad and again got the answering machine.

I guess I shall call my sister who lives in Chandler to find out what's up with my mom and dad. My mom and dad live in Sun Lake. About 8 miles, I think, from my sister's house. Chandler and Sun Lake are Phoenix suburbs.

I will likely hear from Betty Jo Bouvier now, harping about me going to Arizona to see my mom and dad.

In the meantime I'm going to go swimming and lay on a lounge chair for awhile.

It Is Hot In Fort Worth With A Tandy Bottle Hanging Mystery & Texas Girls Packing Heat

Why is someone hanging bottles from branches along the trails of the Tandy Hills?

A couple days ago it was the Mystery of the Tandy Bamboo Teepee. And now the Tandy Bottle Hanging Mystery.

A week ago I was having trouble getting warm, suffering through blizzards with sub-zero wind chills.

A week later I'm getting too HOT hiking which forced shirt removal.

And this morning I had my first real swim of the new year. I was in the water for over a half hour. It felt good. I think it was the loss of swimming that caused my gain of weight.

The pool will be even warmer tomorrow with today's degrees being in the 80s for the first time of the new year. I think that's true.

My current temperature reading is 82, with the Heat Index making it feel like 83. I think I like the Heat Index better than the Wind Chill.

I have not turned on the A/C. But I do have my ceiling fan spinning above me.

Denise finally checked her gmail, so we can quit worrying about not hearing from Denise. Now Denise must complete her undercover assignment.

I learned yesterday that a person I frequently mention on this blog, but who I won't mention right now, by name, got her license yesterday. License to pack heat. Now armed with a six-shooter. Which is why I don't want to raise her ire by saying who it is who is now armed and dangerous.

I will say it is not the Wild Woman of Woolley, Betty Jo Bouvier. Betty Jo is well over 2 thousand miles away, so really can do no harm to me with bullets. Same with Carlotta Del Rio. Carlotta is closer than Betty Jo, but not close enough to be dangerous.

I just heard from Carlotta Del Rio. Telling me how beautiful Washington is being today, with Mount Baker making an appearance, after being shrouded in clouds for awhile.

I can't remember the last time I saw a mountain.

A Case Of The Monday Morning Texas Blues And A Missing Sedro-Woolley Gas Pump

I was up way before the sun, this day after the Super Bowl, first Monday of the second month of 2011.

But, I was not in the mood to blog about anything.

I'm suffering a big, bad case of BLAH.

As you can via the view through the bars of my prison cell patio my case of BLAH is not due to a lack of blue sky.

I think I may be feeling BLAH due to having too much pizza during the Super Bowl.

I managed to watch almost all of the Super Bowl, except for a blogging break after the halftime show.

Til I read about the stadium malfunctions, this morning, I was thinking after a week of woes the actual event went off well. I'll blog about the stadium malfunctions in a subsequent blogging.

A couple days ago Betty Jo Bouvier, she being the Wild Woman of Woolley, suffered the same fate as I did when someone stole my bike from my van. Only in Betty Jo's case it was not a stolen bike from her van, but a stolen antique Chevron Gas Pump from her yard.

Betty Jo asked me to blog about the heist of the Gas Pump on my Washington Blog in case anyone in the Washington zone has seen a Gas Pump show up recently. And so I blogged about "The Case of the Missing Sedro-Woolley Gas Pump."

HOT Saturday Tandy Hills Hiking With The Queen Of Wink & Elsie Hotpepper Saloon Hopping While Betty Jo Bouvier Ponders Stripping For The Super Bowl

Due to the nature of my hiking attire worn today whilst hiking the hills of the Tandy Hills Natural Area you might guess it is warm in North Texas this last Saturday of the first month of 2011.

You would be guessing right. It is currently a balmy 76 degrees.

Until my phone holding arm started to go numb the Queen of Wink went hiking with me today.

The Queen of Wink has hiked on the Tandy Hills with me previously. The first time she got a bad case of the vapors and required hiking assistance.

I tell you, the details of what goes on in the Queen of Wink's Realm would give a prime-time TV Soap Opera plenty of material. Or just film the Queen of Wink 24 hours a day and you'd have yourselves something fit for Bravo TV.

The Real Housewife of Wink.

Separate from the Wink Soap Opera material the Queen of Wink may be heading for a visit to New York City due to her widespread reputation as a Sinkhole Expert.

I thought we long ago established Gar the Texan as the Go To Expert Guy for anything to do with sinkholes. I may be remembering wrong.

Before I took off from here to do some hill hiking I called Elsie Hotpepper to see if she wanted to enjoy the great outdoors with me.

She didn't.

But, Elsie asked me if I wanted to go saloon hopping with her tonight. I am not a very big fan of saloon hopping, so I politely declined.

Maybe a little saloon hopping with the Hotpepper would be good for what ails me. I don't know. What I do know, for sure, is the last time I went saloon hopping with Elsie Hotpepper it took me about a week to feel as if I was totally recovered.

And then there is Betty Jo Bouvier. I know she is known as the Wild Woman of Woolley, but, even so, her most recent question surprised me. Betty Jo asked me if it was true that the D/FW area is in need of 10,000 extra strippers for the Super Bowl. I asked if the reason she wanted to know this was she was thinking of flying in to earn some quick, easy money. To which Betty Jo replied, "It may be quick, but not easy."

I had no idea Betty Jo Bouvier did stripping as a sideline. I knew she was a Zumba dancer, though, which I guess must somehow lead to an interest in being a stripper.

I think maybe I need to close my windows. It feels like HOT air is blowing in here....

Today's Brief Shadow Of The Tandy Hills Thin Man Thinking About Elsie Hotpepper, Betty Jo Bouvier & The Queen Of Wink Being Wild Women Tomorrow

As you can see by the length of the Shadow of the Tandy Hills Thin Man, I was semi-late to the Tandy Hills today. When I headed to the hills there was barely a hint of sun. When I started hiking the hills, no sun.

And then, for one brief moment the sun made one brief appearance. I whipped out my camera and was able to snap off one picture of the Shadow of the Tandy Hills Thin Man before the sun went away for the day.

I got an email from the Other Tandy Hills Thin Man, Don Young, today, with additional info about tomorrow's Tandy Hills Manly Men/Wild Women Hike, starting at 10 am from Tandy Hills Park on View Street. I will copy and paste the pertinent new info from DY, regarding tomorrow, in the following paragraph...

"Post-hike lunch for those inclined at the 8.0 Bar & Restaurant in Sundance Square. They have a moderately priced menu for all ages and tastes. Meet in the Octopus Room. Dutch treat. Come as you are. I guarantee you'll have an appetite."

I do not know if Elsie Hotpepper is bringing her particular brand of Wild Woman to the Tandy Hills tomorrow. Near as I can tell Elsie is currently, for some unfathomable reason, being a bit reluctant about any form of exhibitionism, including exhibiting her hiking skills in hill mode.

I am fairly certain that the Queen of Wink and Princess Annie will not be attending the 2nd Annual Manly Men/Wild Women Hike. Near as I can tell the Queen is undergoing some sort of existential crises in her West Texas realm that is manifesting itself in a lot of Facebook introspection and navel gazing.

I heard from Betty Jo Bouvier, this morning, she being the well known Wild Woman of Woolley, that she may be being a Tandy Hills Wild Woman tomorrow.

I can say this for certain. If Betty Jo Bouvier is on the Tandy Hills tomorrow, for the Manly Men/Wild Women Hike, I can 100% certain guarantee I will be there as well, previous plans be damned.

Late On The Tandy Hills Thinking About Zumba Dancing With Elsie Hotpepper

In the picture you are looking at the stunning skyline of beautiful downtown Fort Worth, late this afternoon, from the top of Mount Tandy.

This is the first time I've taken a picture of the stunning skyline of beautiful downtown Fort Worth since the loss of its 3 mile long Streetcar relegated Fort Worth to continue to linger beneath Top Tier City status.

Meanwhile Dallas got the federal public transit money that Fort Worth rejected. Which seems really unfair because Dallas is already a Top Tier City.

I was relieved when I arrived at the top of Mount Tandy today to find no randy Fort Worth cops engaged in any sort of illicit dalliance. Unlike yesterday.

The Randy Tandy Dalliance is what I've chosen to choose as the explanation for the two cop cars parked on top of Mount Tandy, and then scurrying like cockroaches in bright light upon my arrival, yesterday.

A mid-day doctor's visit is what had me late on the Tandy Hills today. Being late was a good thing. The temperature was in the 60s. Yesterday I wore shorts and a long sleeve t-shirt. Today the t-shirt was short sleeved. Perfect conditions. I hiked a long long time.

Elsie Hotpepper was perplexing me today with her detailed verbalization about being an exhibitionist. I don't know if this has anything to do with saloon hopping. Or what.

Carlotta Del Rio, she being one of The Real Housewives of Camano Island, tried to get me to be in San Antonio today. I had to tell her, no, I am stuck in the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex at the present moment.

Carlotta and Betty Jo Bouvier have been intriguing me about the idea of doing the Zumba thing. When I found out today that Shakira's hips not lying is a popular part of Zumba, it enhanced the appeal.

I wonder if Elsie Hotpepper would be willing to Zumba instead of saloon hopping?

No Shadow Of The Thin Man On The Tandy Hills Today While Recovering From Betty Jo Bouvier Stomping On My Foot

There was no Shadow of the Thin Man on the Tandy Hills today, due to there being no bright sun present, due to a grayish vapor of unknown origin covering the sky.

This morning I read one of the saddest things I've read in awhile. That being Gar the Texan's tale of the cruise from which he just returned.

It reads like a romance novel, not that I have ever read a romance novel, but it's what I except one to be like.

Gar the Texan's romance novel is the story of a lonely boy, sailing solo, staring into glass after glass of adult libations, singing karaoke, trying to get into crew parties with attempts to buy a crew uniform and finally having an emotional breakdown with an old lady who had also lost her spouse and was sailing solo.

All while on a quest to learn where Macedonia is.

Now, let us leave Gar the Texan and return to the Tandy Hills. It was cold on the hills today, requiring 2 layers of long sleeved shirts, plus a windbreaker with a hoodie, which I needed to use to block the cold wind.

I have been having a sore foot woe for several weeks now. I don't know what I did to cause this woe. The right foot is the biggest pain.

In last night's nightmare, which I mentioned earlier today, the nightmare where I found myself driving in Afghanistan with Betty Jo Bouvier in heavy duty harping nag mode. Well, what I did not mention was that when we got to Kabul and got out of the car, Betty Jo stomped on my right foot real hard, paining me deeply.

It was very strange how my real life pain became part of the nightmare, with Betty Jo making it worse.

Today on the Tandy Hills that right foot was hurting the worst ever. And then after about a half mile the pain abated like it always does.

Tonight I intend to keep the dangerous Betty Jo Bouvier out of my nightmares, if I can.

Sleepwalking In Texas While Driving In Afghanistan With Betty Jo Bouvier

We are looking out at the morning of the 3rd Friday of the last month of 2010. Only 14 days to go til the end of this current holiday season's excessive joy.

I had a rough night of nightmares last night. The nightmares had way too much action going on.

I think there may have been some sleepwalking involved.

Because one of my pillows was outside this morning, sitting on a table on the patio. I did not know this til I looked out the window to take the picture you see here and saw the pillow.

I do remember one of my nightmares.

Betty Jo Bouvier, the Wild Woman of Woolley, and I were on The Amazing Race. The task was to drive ourselves from Kandahar, Afghanistan to Kabul. We were provided with AK-47s in case we ran into any Taliban. It was a nervewracking drive to Kabul, with Betty Jo complaining all the way, blaming me for getting her stuck on this ridiculous race.

I woke up exhausted.

I have no idea what I am doing today, except for being absolutely certain there will be no driving in Afghanistan.